


Love to Spare

by buzzbuzz34



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Eavesdropping, Innuendo, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Injuries, Multi, Polyamory, Queerplatonic Relationships, Spoilers for Ancient Rome Sidequest (Rusty Quill Gaming), Spoilers for Episodes 174 and on, it wasn't intentional but it could be read that way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29251299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buzzbuzz34/pseuds/buzzbuzz34
Summary: Hamid learns that he has a crush on Zolf during their brief stay in the ursine village, but Zolf is already in a relationship with Wilde.  However, the three of them navigate their feelings for each other and fall into a different sort of relationship, where it doesn't matter how many people are involved, only the bond they already share and the love in their hearts.
Relationships: Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan & Oscar Wilde, Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan/Zolf Smith, Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan/Zolf Smith/Oscar Wilde, Zolf Smith/Oscar Wilde
Comments: 13
Kudos: 21





	1. A Revelation

**Author's Note:**

> This is set sometime after the Garden of Yerlik and, because I don't want to wait to post it, I've taken some liberties with the timeline and where things might go.
> 
> Also, the focus of this fic is Zolf/Hamid and Zolf/Wilde (in the queerplatonic sense). Hamid and Wilde aren't really in a relationship through this, it is more them figuring out how to date the same man. I just want to provide a head's up - if you're looking for some Hamid/Wilde romance, you're not going to find it here. 
> 
> However, you will find some sappy nerds and shenanigans, so I hope you enjoy!

Hamid gave Azu a sly thumbs up as she left the bunkhouse with Kiko, and she grinned back. He was having the time of his life listening in on all the gossip and seeing these new relationships popping up even in the midst of despair and loss, and he was finally getting the chance to hang out with the kobolds while there was no pretense between them. No threat, no false reasoning, no real worry… everyone together and smiling for once.

He giggled along with everyone else as Cel got Barnes to turn beet red and stutter, though Barnes would never admit to being so flustered. And when Zolf haphazardly slung an arm around Wilde’s shoulder, he got a thumbs up from Hamid as well, though he rolled his eyes in response. 

Midway through adding more pockets to the kobolds’ winter clothes – this time with clasps and toggles to keep them closed – Hamid set down the fabric and took a look around. The chaotic festivities of the morning lulled a few hours later, and now most people lazed around, napping or quietly chatting, enjoying the rare respite. 

Scanning across the room, Hamid smiled as he looked at his companions, but then, inexplicably, his heart sank. 

Zolf and Wilde had fallen asleep next to each other, shoulders pressed tight together and Zolf’s head on Wilde’s shoulder. The Harrison Cambell novels they’d been reading had fallen haphazardly in their laps, and the faintest smile hovered on their sleeping lips. 

Maybe it was time to get some fresh air. Hamid packed up his tailoring supplies, grabbed his own jacket, and headed outside. 

The brisk chill immediately cut through him, and he pulled up his hood as he took a few deep breaths. He didn’t know why he got so upset when he saw Zolf and Wilde like that. He was happy for them! Whether they were _together_ together or just together, it was nice to see his friends relaxing together, at peace in each other’s company. 

Then why did his chest feel tight? Why did anxiety and annoyance race up and down his spine? His stomach doing flipflops at least made some sense after the size of the brunch he’d eaten, but it still didn’t sit right. 

With a huff, he decided to explore a bit of the village, just in the area near the bunkhouse so he could return if necessary and find his way back with ease. Along the way, though, he found Barnes, sat on a bench, and he waved Hamid over when he spotted him in the crowd.

“Hey, Hamid,” he said with a smile. “How’s it going?”

“Good!” He cried, perhaps more forcefully than intended. “Did you need a break from Cel? They came on pretty strong.”

Barnes’ face immediately flushed red again, but he tried and failed to play it cool. “Oh, Cel? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I totally handled it. Suave and composed, that’s me.”

Hamid hid a chuckle behind his hand and Barnes’ face scrunched up tight.

“Anyway,” he continued, “what’s up with you? Just out exploring?”

Truthfully, Hamid had barely noticed his surroundings as he meandered the area. Sure, he _saw_ them, but he didn’t process them. 

Instead, his thoughts kept going back to Zolf and Wilde, curled up and asleep together. They seemed so much more at ease in each other’s presence than before the resurrection, and that was already lifetimes more amicable than when they’d dealt with Wilde in London and Paris. Hamid couldn’t stop wondering what had happened in their ‘conversation,’ and another part of him found himself wishing _he_ had been the one asleep on Zolf’s shoulder. 

He remembered the look in Zolf’s eyes when he thanked Hamid for coming with him after they survived that ludicrous crossing in Dover. He remembered the way Zolf held him in the Catacombs of Paris, when they were both injured and lost and scared. He remembered how he stayed outside of Zolf’s room for hours on end in Le Triomphe, hoping he could give Zolf just the slightest bit of comfort in his darkest hours. He remembered when Zolf left in Prague and how it felt like a piece of his heart was gone forever.

And he remembered the joy he felt when he saw Zolf again in Japan, even if it was mixed with rage and despair and hindered by prison bars and explanations that left him wanting. 

With a deep breath, Hamid answered, “I just needed some air, I think.”

“I get that. We’ve all been cooped up for some time.”

“We sure have.” 

For a moment, they sat together in amicable silence, then Barnes turned to look over Hamid carefully. 

“What’s the matter?” He asked.

“Nothing?”

“I mean, the way you were walking when I saw you, you had your hands stuffed in your pockets and you were staring at the ground. Now, about every five seconds, you let out the most defeated sigh I’ve ever heard. You seem upset. Or at least confused. So… what’s the matter?”

Hamid let out another sigh. “It’s not important. Just… trying to process some things.”

“Is it about Meerk?”

Another pang shot through Hamid’s heart. In his bizarre jealousy, all of his grief about Meerk’s passing became an afterthought. 

“I mean, I miss him, of course. But he’s happy now, and that’s what matters. This is… something else. And, like I said, it’s not important. There are bigger things going on.”

“There might be bigger things, sure, but that doesn’t mean that the little things don’t matter too.”

Hamid paused for a moment, weighing things over in his mind, until he processed his emotions in one simple sentence.

“I think I have feelings for Zolf.”

“Oh.” Barnes hesitated. “You know it seems like he and Wilde are… _something_ , right?”

“That’s probably why I seem confused.”

“Fair. Well, what do you say we find whatever they have for alcohol around here, have a drink, and talk it over?”

“I don’t want to bother you,” Hamid tried to insist, but Barnes clapped him on the shoulder. 

“You’re not bothering me,” he replied. “I know sometimes talking things out can help. And, even if it doesn’t help, it can’t hurt, right? Besides, apparently Azu created a brand-new currency with her five tons worth of marbles, so we can definitely get some good drinks.” He grinned as he pulled out a handful of marbles. 

Hamid didn’t quite know what to do with that information, but he shrugged and hopped to his feet. “Sure, why not? At the very least, we get to sample the local liquor.”

“That’s the spirit!”

*

After acquiring two cups of a steaming mixture that tasted a bit of apple and mostly of hard alcohol, Barnes and Hamid found another place to sit, this time not in the greenspace but on the edge of a thoroughfare where they could watch people pass. 

“So… talk to me.”

“I mean, I don’t know what there is to say?” Hamid shrugged after taking a sip of the beverage. It certainly helped to keep the cold away. 

“Oh, come on now,” Barnes said with a kind yet mischievous smile. Hamid was usually the one trawling for gossip, and it seemed that Barnes enjoyed the small role reversal. 

Hamid took a larger sip. “I just… I can’t believe I never realized it before,” he admitted. “But, I suppose, it hasn’t actually been that long for me since he left in Prague… It _has_ been a while for him, though, so me holding out hope for something that he is _clearly_ not interested in is just pointless, right?”

Barnes gave his own shrug, and stayed silent to allow Hamid to continue. 

“And it’s just confusing in another way, too, because… I thought I was straight!” Hamid cried quietly. “I’ve never liked a man the way I like Zolf. Maybe that’s why I never recognized my feelings for him?”

For a moment, Barnes paused, replaying the information, then said, “You do know there are more options than just straight and gay, right?”

“What!?” Hamid spun to face Barnes with such alacrity that a bit of his drink sloshed out the sides. 

“Yeah, there’s a whole world of possibilities there,” Barnes said with a faint laugh. “You can like both – _all_. You can like none!”

“Wow… I had no idea.” Hamid pondered this over for a second, then shook his head. “Well, that’s definitely something for me to think about. I may have some more questions for you about all that as I think about it some more, at some point, if that’s alright?”

“Of course. Sexuality and romantic attraction can be weird, sometimes, like, nebulous things. It might take a bit to nail it down, or you might never, honestly.”

“I’ve already learned a lot about gender from Cel, and now this? There’s so much I didn’t know!” Hamid’s smile at his own ignorance faded into another sigh. “I mean, at least that’s some sort of self-awareness that’s come out of this whole mess.”

Barnes put a hand on Hamid’s shoulder. “Having feelings isn’t a mess. It can be mess _y_ , yes, but that’s not the same thing. Zolf cares about you; I can tell from the stories he would tell of the adventures you went on in Europe. I can’t imagine he would be disgusted or upset if he knew how you felt.”

“Oh, no, no,” Hamid exclaimed and drew back instinctively from Barnes. “He’s never going to know! It doesn’t matter, he’s got Wilde, and I _am_ happy for him. There’s no point in him knowing, so please don’t tell him.”

“I won’t, I swear, I never intended to. This is between you and me. But, listen, think about it this way: if you never got the chance to tell him, do you think you would regret it?”

“What?”

Barnes took a deep breath and stared off into the distance. “We all knew that we would lose people in this fight. Probably lose _everyone_ , to be honest. But it all suddenly became very real when we crashed and…” He trailed off, and Hamid nodded so that he didn’t have to continue. They both understood. “I don’t mean to be dark about it, but there’s always a chance that you won’t get the chance to tell Zolf how you feel. So, if that was the case, would you regret it?”

“I don’t know,” Hamid replied after a long, thoughtful moment. Zolf was already in some sort of relationship – it wouldn’t be fair to undermine that. And surely the nature of Hamid’s feelings for Zolf wouldn’t affect him. They weren’t important to the mission, to their very survival. 

But they _were_ important to Hamid, and Zolf was his friend. Wasn’t it better to keep no secrets between them? 

“That’s fair. Maybe something else to think about?”

“Yeah, I suppose so,” Hamid pondered aloud.

“And I’m not saying you should bust in there and pronounce your feelings for all to hear in some grand gesture. But, maybe, it might help to get it off your chest at some point?”

Hamid nodded. “Maybe if it comes up, or we have a spare moment. Like you said, I need to think about it. Thank you for listening and helping.”

“Of course. I’m happy to.”

“Feel free to ask me to repay the favor, depending on how things go with you and Cel,” Hamid teased, and Barnes’ face flushed bright red again, this time not just from their warm drinks. 

“Fair enough,” he stuttered out. “But it’s getting late. We should probably head back.”

They stood and began the trek back to the bunkhouse. Barnes opened the door for Hamid, who, as he entered, said, “Thank you again, really. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

Whatever confidence and calm Hamid had found in his conversation with Barnes instantly faded the moment he saw Zolf and Wilde chatting in a corner, that sparkle in Wilde’s eye and the faintest, stubborn smile on Zolf’s lips. To take his mind off of it, he busied himself once again with adding clasps and more pockets to the kobold’s winter gear, deliberately facing away from Zolf. 

That was a problem for later. For now, Hamid would focus on his stitches, and let the conflict in his head and heart fade away. 


	2. A Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamid tells Zolf how he feels, and receives an unexpected confession in return.

For a while, Hamid tried to convince himself that he didn’t actually have any romantic feelings for Zolf, and that he was just jealous of all his friends finding a relationship while he had none. His last relationship hadn’t exactly ended well, after all. 

It worked for a while, but he couldn’t deny that he didn’t feel that same pang of jealousy when he saw Azu and Kiko together or Cel and Barnes. When they gathered aboard the Vengeance and began the long flight back to more populated lands, armed with information to help them tackle the blue veins, Hamid still had his daily chats with Wilde where they dished out the gossip. Wilde was much less lethargic now, given the progress they’d made in the quest he once thought was hopeless. 

There was no ill-will or awkwardness with Wilde. With Zolf, however, Hamid’s chest seemed to tighten at the mere sight of him. 

He never used to feel this way. He always felt at ease in Zolf’s presence, even when they were bickering; they might argue and disagree, but there was never any true, lingering malevolence from their fights. 

And Hamid _did_ still feel safe with Zolf around, of course. It was hard not to, after everything they’d been through, everything they had seen, and Zolf still piloted them through both Aurora Borealis and less magical storms with composure. 

But Hamid couldn’t help but find himself staring, at times, without any particular thought in mind. Meanwhile, he also tended to avoid lengthy conversations where Zolf was involved, unless they were actively discussing their plan of attack when they left the arctic behind, as his stomach danced with butterflies and his head spun if the topic was more casual. 

It was a really bad crush, intensified by months of unrecognized emotion and the jealousy of knowing that Zolf and Wilde were together, even if not in a romantic sense – their bond was just as real and strong as any other relationship. It felt good to see Zolf smile, though, even when it was in Wilde’s company. 

Still, Hamid found himself bowing out, finding any excuse, to keep from sitting in the stew of envy he made for himself. 

Despite his attempt to be subtle when avoiding Zolf, they were travelling in extremely cramped quarters. After the Garden of Yerlik, however, no one doubted any need for space or time to process, but Hamid took it to the extreme, and now _everyone_ noticed. 

“Come in,” Hamid called as a knock sounded against the door to his cabin. As they were headed back to warmer climates, he no longer needed to patch up their cold weather gear, and instead he had been tasked with creating a sort of apron for Sassraa, so that they could carry all of their tools with ease. 

He barely even looked up as the door creaked open. He trusted everyone aboard, so he finished his stitches, then looked up to see Zolf standing there, hand on the doorknob as if unsure how far to step inside the cabin, how far he was welcome.

“Zolf! Hi,” Hamid said, attempting to be casual even as he accidentally stabbed himself with his needle. 

“I just wanted to check in with you,” Zolf said, electing to shut the door loosely behind him and step into the cabin. “Since we’ve been back on the ship, you… well, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

Hamid set aside his work. “Earhart worried about me, then? She sent you to come check on me?”

“No, _I’m_ worried about you. I guess… it just seems like you are always ducking out of conversations when I’m around, or just avoiding me in general. Did I… did I do something?”

“Oh dear,” he muttered as his heart sank at the thought of Zolf blaming himself for Hamid’s distance. “No, you didn’t, it’s… it’s not you. I just have a lot to think about, and sometimes it’s hard to be around people.”

“I get that. I get that more than most of the others, probably. You know I like my moping time,” Zolf replied with a breathy chuckle. Hamid noticed he hadn’t been moping so much lately, though. “But it seems like you don’t want to be around _me_ in particular. Maybe I’m just imagining it. I know we’ve had our differences and our disagreements, but I don’t want those to jeopardize our friendship, and I-”

“It’s not that at all, Zolf, really. You’re fine.” Hamid stood to face Zolf and smiled. He clasped his hands together in the hopes that Zolf wouldn’t see how they trembled. 

“Alright, well… if you need to talk about anything, you can talk to me. You’re probably better off talking to Azu or literally anyone else, given my people skills, but, you know, the offer is still open.”

They both chuckled and pointedly refused to meet the gaze of the other. After a long moment, Zolf continued, “I’ll let you get back to your sewing. Sorry for bothering you.”

“Zolf, wait!”

He had barely turned toward the door when the words were out of Hamid’s mouth with little approval from his brain. 

“I’m not trying to avoid you, not like that,” Hamid said, staring at his clasped hands. Was Zolf standing closer now? He could feel his eyes scan him, and Hamid had never felt so small. “I mean, I suppose I _am_ , but it’s not because of anything you did. It’s because of me. I…”

He was rambling, so he took a deep breath and tried to start fresh. 

“Listen, I… realized something about myself when we were in the village. Something about my feelings for you,” he confessed. “I really care about you, Zolf, and not just in the way that you’re my friend or companion, but in the romantic way, I guess. I saw you with Wilde and my heart got jealous, but I had no comprehension as of why. When I _did_ figure out why, it seemed easier to just not be around you when we weren’t dealing with, well, everything.” Hamid gestured vaguely around him as if that would address the myriad of problems they were attempting to solve, then he noticed how visibly his hand shook as he did so, and clasped it tight again. “Now I know that I _am_ jealous, but I’m also happy for you, and it’s just… it’s hard sometimes to reconcile those two emotions? Along with my feelings for you?

“I know it’s not really important. There are bigger things going on than some crazy crush I realized out of nowhere. But… well, you’re here, and I suppose I _would_ regret it if I never got the chance to tell you. And you deserve an explanation for my weird behavior, regardless, if only to make sure you don’t blame yourself for it.”

Hamid shut his eyes tight as he finished, unable to look at Zolf, to see what emotions would be written on his face. Would he be disgusted? Appalled? Would he laugh? Or pity Hamid’s ridiculous heart?

It felt like ages before either of them moved, and Hamid didn’t expect it. Of all the reactions he anticipated, for Zolf to step forward and slowly embrace him didn’t even register as a possibility. At first, Hamid stood stock still, terrified and ashamed of himself, then he melted into Zolf’s arms and hugged him back, burying his face into his shoulder as he began to cry. He didn’t realize how many emotions he’d been bottling up until they now came pouring out all at once. 

“I’m sorry, this is so stupid,” Hamid said, half laughing through the tears as he pulled sharply away from Zolf, withdrawing back into himself. 

“Hey, it’s not stupid,” Zolf replied sincerely. 

Hamid still didn’t want to meet his gaze, but he could feel Zolf’s eyes burning into him, and eventually he had to look up. 

Instead of ridicule or disdain, Zolf’s expression was soft. He seemed concerned for Hamid’s outburst of emotion, which only made another bout of tears well up in his throat. 

“It _is_ though,” Hamid insisted. “It doesn’t matter right now. We’ve got more important things to deal with. Besides, you’ve got Wilde. I can’t show up after two years gone and expect you to… I don’t know, not _wait_ for me as such, but feel any sort of way toward me. That you still trusted me enough to travel with me, to call me your friend, that’s more than enough.”

Now it was Zolf’s turn to look away, and he looked around the cabin as he attempted to formulate his own thoughts. Meanwhile, Hamid opened his mouth to speak several times, to dismiss himself again, but couldn’t find the words and wound up waiting for Zolf anyway.

“I thought you were dead, you know. When you disappeared in Rome. People don’t come out of there, and it had been too long, and…” Zolf let out a heavy breath. “And I was left loving someone who was gone, someone I had walked out on.”

Hamid stared with jaw agape. _Love_? 

“It’s not like I was in a place to address my feelings back in Paris anyway. There was a lot going on and I was… not handling it well, I suppose.”

“Things were hard for all of us; I can’t even imagine what you were going through,” Hamid said. To find out about Mr. Ceiling was bad enough, to lose his legs and his faith at the same time? He couldn’t fault Zolf’s anguish. 

“Well, still. And then I left, and in sorting myself out, I found myself with this locked up ball of emotion about you, and then… you were gone. And I had to deal with the fact that what I felt for you would never be resolved, it would just sort of be there forever. That I would love someone who was dead, and that love would never necessarily fade away entirely. 

“And, listen, I love Wilde. What we have is… it’s not romantic, but it’s just as important and valuable. He was there for me when everything started to come undone. But… that doesn’t mean that the love I felt for you ever went away.”

Hamid creased his brow. “What does that mean?”

“It means… I can love both of you. And it doesn’t make either love any less.”

“I’m not expecting some sort of reciprocation here,” Hamid snapped, more forcefully than anticipated. He was scowling a little bit. How could Zolf play with his emotions like this? He was committed to Wilde, and that was fine, good, wonderful. For him to say he cared about Hamid, to say that he _loved_ him… it just seemed spiteful at this point.

“Okay…” Zolf met Hamid’s fiery gaze with confusion. “That’s not really the reaction I expected.”

“You’re with Wilde! It’s fine!” Hamid shrieked. “I just wanted you to know my feelings, and now I know yours, and there’s nothing more to be done. You can’t love me while you love him, not like that.”

“Why not?”

Hamid took a step back. “Because… because! What? I…” His fury faded into wondering. “I don’t know, it’s just not a thing people do.”

“Sure it is. You’ve never heard of polyamory? Some people can love more than one person, be bonded to them and have that sort of relationship. Sometimes it’s three or more people all in love with each other, sometimes it’s just one person who has multiple partners… there are loads of options.”

“You can do that!?”

Zolf smiled and chuckled at Hamid’s exclamation. “Yeah, why not? I guess, what I’m saying is… If you just wanted to get your feelings off your chest, that’s fine. But if you want to pursue something here-” he gestured between the two of them “-then I’m open to that possibility. I know _I_ would really like to see if there’s something here, something that can last,” he admitted, his cheeks flushing red. 

Meanwhile, Hamid was still thinking about this whole polyamory thing. First, he learned about a whole new host of genders from Cel, then sexualities from Azu and Barnes, and now this? Why weren’t these things discussed more often?

He couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that Zolf would want to be with him in the first place, let alone that he could date Hamid _and_ be committed to Wilde at the same time. It seemed like so much.

But, at the same time, it wasn’t as if Hamid had any less love for any of his siblings or his parents. If he could love all of them at the same time, why couldn’t someone choose to be in a relationship with more than one person too? Love was infinite, surely; Hamid had seen that in the depth of Azu’s compassion and the power of Aphrodite, even if he didn’t worship her himself. 

Finally, Hamid met Zolf’s gaze again, this time on equal footing. He was no longer hiding and small, and the pounding in his chest was of elation, not fear. 

“I would really like that,” he whispered. 

Zolf smiled wide, and Hamid melted as he smiled back, unable to stop himself from giggling. 

“Before we get carried away,” Zolf said, interrupting the moment, “I do have to check with Wilde about this. We’re still in a relationship, and I do want to spend my life with him, but maybe I can maybe spend it with you too. So, if he says no, if he’s not okay with me dating you as well as him, then… this can’t happen.”

“Of course. I would never seek to interrupt or cause any problems between you and him. Honestly, I never expected anything like this. Just the possibility of it, the hope of it,” he added with a grin, knowing that hope was where Zolf got his powers even with his frequently grim outlook on things, “that’s enough. And knowing that you don’t hate me for it.”

“Why would I hate you for liking me?” Zolf laughed. 

“I don’t know! I thought you’d be disgusted at the possibility. After all, I’m _me_ …”

“But that’s why you’re so wonderful. If not frequently infuriating,” he teased. 

Hamid lunged forward and hugged Zolf, holding him tight. “As if you’re one to talk,” he joked back, and they both laughed, bodies heaving in sync as they did so. 

“Okay, I really do have to get to the helm,” Zolf said as they pulled apart, cheeks bright red. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t mad at me, this is… wow.”

“Yeah. Wow…”

Zolf stepped to the door, opened it, and then turned back to Hamid. “I’ll talk to Wilde and get back to you, okay? But, no matter what… you mean the world to me, Hamid. And I don’t ever want you to be afraid of existing around me or telling me what’s on your mind.”

“I… I won’t. Thank you, Zolf. For everything. And for being you.”

“I can’t believe there are people who think I’m anything of value,” he replied with a grimace that then morphed into a smile. “But I can’t really complain that there are.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something else to complain about instead.” Hamid smirked. 

“Oh, of course. Anyway, I better get going.”

“I’ll see you around.”

Zolf gave a final nod, then exited the cabin and pulled the door shut behind him. Once he was gone, Hamid couldn’t help but twirl around in glee and let out a quiet squeal. 

He didn’t want to hope too much, given that there was a very real possibility that Wilde would not be on board with his partner dating someone else at the same time, which was entirely reasonable. But the idea that Zolf cared about him, _loved_ him, filled Hamid with such elation that he couldn’t help but hope. 

Just to have Zolf in his life was a gift. He had been so afraid, and now he was dancing around his cabin and couldn’t stop smiling. Sure, they still had a world to save, but it seemed a bit easier now, with love and hope in his heart. 


	3. A Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zolf discusses dating Hamid with Wilde and makes sure that he knows their relationship is just as important.

Hamid knew he shouldn’t be listening. Eavesdropping was impolite and rude, especially when the subjects were two of his friends. But he couldn’t help himself. 

When he overheard Zolf say, “I want to talk about Hamid, and, well, us,” inside of Wilde’s cabin, he had stopped dead in his tracks. Part of him still didn’t believe that the conversation with Zolf happened at all, that his confession was met with anything other than disdain and ridicule. That Zolf had feelings for him in return, that he considered a relationship with him, and that he was actually bringing that issue up with the man with whom he was already _in_ a relationship… it made Hamid’s head spin and heart swell with nervousness. 

He wouldn’t blame Wilde for saying no, of course. After all, Hamid didn’t even realize it was possible to date more than one person at a time until a day ago. In any other circumstance, he wasn’t sure how he would handle it, at least not right away, and certainly not before he learned about this whole polyamory thing. 

But he had seen so many types of love and felt them so deeply - love was infinite. Why would the connections forged by it be any less?

That didn’t excuse his listening in on the conversation between Zolf and Wilde, though. He told himself to keep moving, to let them talk it over in private, to wait for a decision. But as he screamed at his feet to move, they remained motionless, as if physically stuck to the floor. 

“Oh? Is everything alright?” Wilde said, his voice muffled through the door. 

“Yeah, it is, I just…” Hamid recognized that pause, the hesitation in Zolf’s voice as he tried to process. “Listen, I don’t know exactly what it is that you and I have, what kind of relationship it is. I heard the term queerplatonic from Cel, and it fits, we’re not ‘just’ friends, we’re _together_ , but we’re not…” He took a second to quiet his rambling. “The point is, what we have means so much to me. You make me feel safe, even when _nothing_ is safe, and you make me want to sacrifice the world for your well-being.”

“Where is this going, Zolf?”

Zolf sighed, loud enough that it sounded through the door with ease. “What we have is really important to me. _You_ are very important to me. And in my own way, I love you, and I want this bond we have to continue.”

“Me too.”

“Great!” Zolf exclaimed and chuckled.

“It’s impossible to deny what we have. And you’re right, queerplatonic certainly fits. It’s not romance, per se, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend my life with you,” Wilde replied. 

“I want that too.”

Hamid heard the faint sound of fabric rustling, as if they were hugging, holding each other tight, and he smiled to himself. No matter how this whole thing turned out, that Zolf and Wilde could find some peace, some joy in this messed up world was a gift in and of itself. Neither of them had smiled so much since the resurrection, since their bond was solidified in the space between worlds. 

“What does this have to do with Hamid?” Wilde asked several moments later, during which time Hamid had started to pry his feet up from the floor, but now they were stuck fast yet again. 

“Well, that’s the, uh, the thing. I’m pretty sure I mentioned at some point before Japan that I… I had feelings for Hamid.”

“Yeah, you did,” Wilde said. “It was when you figured that it had been too long for anyone to come out of Rome either alive or recognizable as the person they once were.”

“I was a bit of a mess that day, if I recall correctly.”

“As opposed to all the other days.” The teasing lilt of Wilde’s voice was discernible anywhere. 

“ _More_ of a mess, then.” Zolf paused, then continued. “But, the truth is, those feelings never truly went away. And just yesterday, I found out that Hamid actually reciprocates them.”

“I didn't think he... You know, he always insisted he was straight."

"I don't know, that’s not my place. The point is, that… I in no way want to diminish what I have with you, but I also would like to see if there’s any chance of something with him as well.”

“Oh!” Wilde cried, and then laughed. “I’m sorry, I was sort of confused. You want to date Hamid too?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m trying to get at.”

“Why didn’t you say so? I was unsure where all of this was going.”

“I wanted to make sure that you knew I wasn’t undermining our relationship just because it’s not romantic.”

“Zolf, even if it _was_ romantic, that doesn’t mean you can’t have feelings for other people at the same time and want to act on them.”

“Fair,” Zolf conceded. “I don’t know, I’ve never done this before. The idea that there is even one person willing to put up with me, let alone two? It still baffles me.”

“Well, listen.” Wilde’s voice softened until Hamid could barely hear it. “It’s not as if I can fault Hamid for caring about you. You are… Words don’t often fail me, but with you…”

Another fabric rustle, and Hamid realized that the conversation was coming to a close and that one of its interlocutors might soon be exiting the cabin. This time, he was able to pull up his feet and dart away before he was detected, but he couldn’t stop beaming, practically dancing up the stairs to the deck. 

“What’s going on with you?” Azu asked as she passed him by. He was headed to his charts, though he doubted he would make any sense of them while so elated. She gave him a knowing look but didn’t press more than that.

“Oh, nothing!” He lied.

“Right.”

“I… I’ll tell you later.”

“You better!” She teased, then left him with a smile as she went on her way. 

Hamid was right that the lines and markings of the maps swiveled and danced beneath his gaze as he kept replaying every related conversation over and over in his head. His shift came and went with little productivity, and he found himself headed toward the bar that Wilde had remade, citing it as a necessity for their voyage when Earhart briefly protested at its second appearance on her ship. However, he was stopped before getting too close to the rest of the crew.

“Hey, Hamid.”

He had to keep his expression as neutral as possible when he spun to face Zolf even as his heart did somersaults. 

“Zolf!” He said, a little too loudly.

If he noticed, Zolf didn’t say anything. Instead, he carried on. “I had a chat with Wilde, and, uh, he’s okay with it if you and I…” He gestured with a hand between the two of them when words fell short.

“Oh! That’s wonderful! I’m really glad.”

“I am too.” Zolf smiled, and Hamid started instantly beaming again. Zolf stepped forward, then paused, and then, in one motion, pulled Hamid into an embrace, cradling his head and squeezing him tight as if silently swearing that he wouldn’t walk out on him again. 

Hamid buried his face in Zolf’s shoulder and hugged him back. This hug felt different. It wasn’t intended as comfort from pain or a release of desperation, but it existed for the sake of the hug itself and the unity of those involved. 

They pulled apart some time later, and Zolf coughed as if that would hide the bright redness of his face. 

“Anyway, were you headed to the bar? What do you say we go get a drink?”

“Sounds great.”

As they headed together to the bar to join the festivities of all the others who were off shift, their hands remained intertwined. Wilde smiled sincerely at Zolf and Hamid from behind the bar as he instinctively prepared their usual orders. 

“Look at you two, a proper pair of love birds,” he teased. 

Hamid’s face flushed. He hadn’t considered how he would handle interactions with Wilde from that point on, how they might change now that they were both dating the same man. 

Thankfully, Zolf handled the response. 

“Oh, shut it.” He was smiling all the same, half smirking at Wilde’s jab and half grinning at the fact that, yes, he was already smitten with Hamid. 

Wilde slid them their drinks then sauntered away, whistling a tune. They didn’t have long to talk or sit together, however, before a moderately tipsy Siggif actively dragged Hamid away to join in their game of darts. Hamid looked back at Zolf, his gaze a mixture of an apology and a request to be rescued, but Zolf just laughed and let Hamid on his way. 

While the other team took their turn, Azu sidled up to Hamid. 

“I think I have a feeling what you were so excited about, but you still need to tell me anyway.” 

Hamid blushed. “Well, um… me and Zolf are together.”

Azu remained relatively neutral and calm until Hamid spoke aloud what she already suspected, and then she grinned wide and instantly tugged Hamid into a hug. 

“I’m so happy for you! For both of you!”

“Thank you,” he replied. She held onto both of his shoulders as he continued, admitting, “It’s all very new to me. I’ve never dated a man before, not that I expect it to be all that different, but… still.”

“I understand.”

“And I’ve definitely never dated someone who is also dating someone else.”

“As long as all of you are alright with it, that’s what matters,” Azu said. “I’m sure there will be awkward moments, but you’ll just need to talk it out. You don’t need to worry about that right now, though. For now, just focus on that love, and the bond you have with Zolf. And with Wilde; he is your friend, after all. Those connections will carry you through.”

“You’re right.” Hamid embraced Azu again, and she squeezed him tight. 

He pulled away abruptly, then looked up at Azu with creased eyebrows. “Did you know that polyamory was a thing? Am I the last person to learn about this?”

Azu laughed. “I did know about it, but there’s no harm in just finding out.”

“I suppose.” Hamid sighed. “I guess all that matters is that I know about it now, when it matters.”

“Exactly. Now, we better get ready for our turn or Siggif might just pick you up this time instead of dragging you across the ship.”

“Good point. And Azu?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

She smiled. “You’re welcome, Hamid. Of course.”

Together, they stepped over to see what damage Siggif and Friedrich had caused during their unsupervised turn, but Hamid couldn’t stop thinking about what Azu had said. 

Even if it was strange and new and awkward, Hamid needed to remember that he loved Zolf, and that Zolf loved him, even if he loved Wilde too. If they could come this far toward saving the world, surely they could sort out any problems that might arise in their relationship?

Hamid didn’t know how it would all work out. All the same, though, he was so excited to see where it went.


	4. A Continuation

There weren’t many changes now that Zolf and Hamid were in a proper relationship, which made sense, in its way. If the foundation was solid, why bother messing it up?

However, they spent more of their spare time simply existing in each other’s company, and it was commonplace for their hands to brush together when walking or for them to sit close enough that their arms pressed together, a comforting presence against the weight of the world and the distance between the ground and the rebuilt Vengeance.

They were found in each other’s cabins during breaks more often; though of course Zolf still frequently went off to annoy and spend time with Wilde. Given that there were only three of them that could navigate the Vengeance through the air, the two of them had limited time when one of them wasn’t on shift. 

But when Zolf did have free time that didn’t involve flying, hanging out with Wilde, or planning their next moves when they reentered more populated space, he and Hamid seemed to gravitate together. 

When it was shift change, Zolf begrudgingly crawled out of bed and away from the warmth of Hamid’s side. They’d been sat, side by side, each reading in silence while their breath fell into sync. Hamid knew that Zolf had to go, but it didn’t make his absence any less tangible. 

As Zolf threw on his coat, Hamid reached over, grabbed the Harrison Campbell novel he had been reading, and skimmed the synopsis on the back cover. 

“What, going to mock my literary choices again?” Zolf asked, a half-smirk on his lips as he watched Hamid. 

“No!” Hamid exclaimed. “I actually thought that I should give Harrison Campbell another go.”

“Oh?”

“Well, I know that you like the books, so I thought that I should read them. That way I know what’s going on when you rant about Jennifer’s latest mistakes. If that’s okay.” 

They still sounded like proper trash to Hamid, but Zolf enjoyed them, and so did Wilde and a good chunk of the rest of the crew, so he figured that he might as well at least have a passing knowledge of the lore. Even if there were _so many_ books in the seemingly countless series.

Zolf paused and stopped getting ready. “You don’t have to. I know you didn’t like the one that you did try to read on our way to Prague…”

“But I want to.”

At first, Zolf hesitated again, not sure what to say. In the end, he stepped back over to his bed, cupped Hamid’s face, and leaned in to kiss him. It was a quick kiss, but it was their first, and Hamid felt himself get lost in the contact to the point that he barely remembered what they’d been talking about in the first place. 

“Thank you,” Zolf said, gently brushing Hamid’s cheek with his thumb. “That… that means a lot, actually.”

Hamid smiled and pressed his face a little more intently into Zolf’s grasp. 

“But you don’t want to start with that one.” Zolf withdrew his hands ever so quickly and he darted over to his things, rummaging through stacks and stacks of well-read books. “Start with this one. It the first in my favorite series.”

Hamid accepted the book and nodded. _The things one did for love_ , he laughed to himself as he realized just how many horrible books he was about to read. 

“Okay, now I really do have to go.” Zolf glanced at the door and he finished buttoning his jacket to keep out the cold. “You’re welcome to stay here, of course. Or not. I’ll, uh…”

He started toward the door, but Hamid lunged after him and tugged him into another kiss. This time, Hamid wasn’t caught off guard by the action, but instead by the gentleness of Zolf’s caress and the warmth of his body as they held each other tight. 

Zolf did indeed have to leave sooner rather than later, and extracted himself from the embrace with flushed cheeks and a smile to go off and make sure that the Vengeance kept flying and didn’t crash into a mountain or anything of the like. Hamid plopped back down on the bed, beaming, and realized that reading a few trashy novels was a small price to pay for loving Zolf. 

After that, Hamid found himself eager to kiss Zolf. He’d been scared to at first, truthfully – he’d never kissed anyone with a beard before! But now that they had kissed and Hamid knew what it felt like, he sought it out in the quiet times between just the two of them, when a lull came in a conversation or neither moved from an embrace that could have ended, and it felt as natural as anything to press his lips against Zolf's skin.

*

One evening, Hamid awoke with a start. Waking up from a nightmare, from memories of Aziza’s broken body or Sasha and Grizzop getting flung into the void, just out of reach… that was commonplace at this point. He had no memory of the darkness this time, only a creeping and unknown fear that trickled up his spine. 

In an instant, he conjured a small light, exited his cabin, and took to the hallway. Without even thinking, he found himself at Zolf’s door, and knocked. 

“Oi, what do you want? It’s the middle of the night, and it’s not my shift. Earhart, we’ve been over this-”

“It’s Hamid?”

Zolf opened the door and looked at Hamid with bleary eyes. When he spoke, though, the annoyance was gone from his voice. 

“You okay?” He stepped to the side and ushered Hamid into his cabin, then shut the door behind him. 

“No, no, I’m not, I’m just…”

It was in that moment that Hamid realized how foolish this was. It hadn’t even been a proper, full blown nightmare, just a faint feeling of fear, and there he was, flinging himself at Zolf, waking him up, and for what?

“I’m sorry to have woken you, I shouldn’t…” he muttered, then realized aloud, “I didn’t even consider that you might not be here, or that Wilde might be here, I…” He scanned the bed, but it was empty. He knew that Zolf and Wilde did occasionally sleep together, after seeing them stumble out of the same cabin when they’d overslept or when they fell asleep in the ursine village, Wilde’s head on Zolf’s chest. 

Zolf grabbed Hamid’s shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. What’s going on?”

“Just…” Hamid waved his hand around to vaguely gesture at everything. “I don’t know, I got scared, and I was here before I even realized what I was doing. Can I… Can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to be alone in the dark.” 

He felt so childish saying those words aloud, but with Zolf’s arm around him, leading him to bed, it didn’t seem so foolish. 

“Of course you can stay,” Zolf whispered, pressing a quick kiss to Hamid’s temple. “Crawl in.”

Hamid obliged, and Zolf followed suit after him. At first, Hamid clung to the wall, for some reason afraid to bump into Zolf after already invading his space, but Zolf reached out and set a hand atop Hamid’s arm, holding it gently yet surely. 

“I understand, you know,” he said a moment later.

Hamid rolled over to face him, and his eyes sparkled in the dim light. 

“I understand the fear. And not wanting to be alone. So… don’t worry about it, okay? I’m here for you.”

Hamid nodded, blinking back tears. “And I’m here for _you_ , you know that, right?”

“I do.” He smiled. “Just being around you again makes everything a bit easier. A _lot_ easier, honestly.”

Hamid scooched closer and pulled Zolf into an embrace. They shifted slightly so that Hamid was still pressed up against Zolf, their legs intertwined, and Zolf had an arm over Hamid, such that he would always be safe against the fear.

Together, the darkness couldn’t touch them. 

*

However, that didn’t stop the occasional jealousy from creeping into Hamid’s mind. He knew, rationally, that Zolf could love both him and Wilde at the same time, and that their relationships with Zolf were separate from each other, existing in their own sphere. But part of him kept wondering how he compared. 

He avoided Wilde now, abandoning their daily gossip sessions and darting away from him whenever it seemed like they’d be left alone together. It was awkward, and there was no way Wilde didn’t realize what was happening, but he didn’t press the issue. 

When members of the crew gathered as a group to discuss their plans, it was easier to ignore the budding feelings of jealousy. There were more important things going on, _far_ more important things. The state of Hamid’s relationships was nothing compared to the fate of the world. 

A cry came from Carter for Zolf to come help, and he sighed, then stood to leave the group. 

“Alright, I’ll go fix _whatever_ that mess is, and I’ll be back.”

Even though Earhart was out of her cabin more often, Zolf still found himself as arbitrator and fixer of most personnel problems. Things were less tense around Carter after his resurrection - it was hard to despise him after mourning him – but that didn’t stop the annoyance altogether. So, Zolf took a few steps away before Wilde called after him. 

“What, I don’t get a kiss farewell?”

“I’m going to be gone for like two minutes. Hopefully…” Zolf added.

With a smug look, Wilde stuck out his cheek for a kiss, and Zolf rolled his eyes. However, he dutifully stepped over and pressed a quick kiss to Wilde’s cheek. 

“Much better.”

It was cute to see Zolf and Wilde together like that, openly teasing and flirty now that their relationship was an acknowledged thing. And Wilde had a light in his eyes when he looked at Zolf. Hamid definitely understood that. 

Hamid didn’t have the chance to process how he felt about the whole situation, happiness and a tinge of envy mixing together in his gut, before Zolf was at his side, leaning down and pecking his cheek. 

“And a kiss for you,” Zolf said as he did so, then he stepped back and gestured to Cel and Azu. “You two can sort yourselves out.”

With that, he left the group, stomping away to deal with whatever problem Carter was involved in now.

Hamid caught Wilde’s eye as he buried himself in his drink, and then looked away even quicker. He didn’t know how to feel about this. It was all so much, between joy for his friend and his lover while also feeling unsure about how he fit into everything.

Before he could think too much on it or before Wilde could finish saying whatever he’d opened his mouth to say, Cel turned to Azu and cried, “Well, I guess we have to find our own kisses.”

“Really, it’s quite rude,” Azu joked. 

“Where’s Kiko? Kiko!” Cel yelled. “Kiko, your girlfriend needs kisses!”

“Well, Barnes is over with Carter, so he’s not around to give you kisses right now either.”

“Hm… guess it’s just you and me.”

As if they’d planned it, Azu and Cel pressed a series of kisses to alternating cheeks, making a grand show of it. 

Hamid blushed even deeper and took an even longer sip from his mug. 

“Are we all done?” Wilde asked, though he looked elated at the hilarity. 

“Hey, you started this,” Cel replied as they went in for their fourteenth kiss on Azu’s cheek.

“I suppose I did.” Wilde sighed but smiled. “We’ll just have to wait for Zolf to get back. He always was the one keeping us going, with his own unique stubbornness.”

Hamid met Wilde’s gaze again, and this time he nodded amicably. Zolf was always a reason to keep going.


	5. A Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a while, Hamid found it awkward to be around Wilde. But eventually he learns that there is no need for any estrangement between them when, if anything, they are closer than they ever were before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is why I added a tag for minor innuendo, but it's like early RQG Wilde typical innuendo if that makes sense lol

The storm hit hard. They were clear from the domain of the Borealis, but a mundane storm could still pack a punch. It took all hands to maintain the engine and the ropes that kept them in the sky but, even then, it was a constant effort to keep the winds and rain at bay. 

Everyone was drenched; no amount of weatherproofing would save them from the torrential downpour, and it was nearly impossible to hear the shouted orders and instructions over the howl of the wind. 

Hamid didn’t have the strength required to handle the rigging and he lacked the mechanical know-how to help Cel and Sassraa with the elementals, so he found himself as a runner, relaying Zolf and Earhart’s mandates to every corner of the ship with Skraak’s help. The other kobolds were so small that they were the only ones relieved of duty during the storm, instead told to stay belowdecks where they couldn’t get blown away. 

As Hamid raced across the deck, attaching and reattaching his guideline with practiced ease, he saw the wood splinter and begin to fall. Even if anyone was able to hear his scream of warning, it wouldn’t have mattered. It all happened so fast.

The beam that connected to the crow’s nest broke off entirely and thudded to the deck, crushing Zolf beneath it. 

“Zolf!” 

Hamid’s task was forgotten as he ran to Zolf’s side and used every mote of strength to heave the wood off of him. It wasn’t the heaviest collapse, but the sheer force of the fall kept Zolf pinned and stunned.

“Zolf, Zolf! Are you okay?” Hamid yelled over the wind. 

He shoved the beam away and pulled Zolf into his arms, looking him over to see if he could find any obvious injuries. 

He didn’t reply at first, until a faint smile crossed his lips. 

“You know, you already swept me off my feet, you didn’t need to hit me over the head too.”

“It wasn’t me, I-”

“I know.” Zolf squeezed Hamid’s hand tight.

Hamid held onto him, relieved that he was awake and alive and relatively uninjured besides a rough hit to the head. 

“Is he alright?” 

Hamid looked up to see Wilde, the concern visible in his expression even when so many other details were obscured by the storm. 

“I think so. But I think he hit his head pretty hard. Can you take him belowdecks and keep an eye on him? He’s too dazed to stay up here in all this.” Hamid gestured to the storm around them. 

“Of course.”

Together, Hamid and Wilde hefted Zolf to his feet, while he complained that he was fine even though his balance was wobblier than usual. 

“I’ll take care of him,” Wilde said to Hamid as he half-led, half-carried Zolf down the steps and out of the downpour. 

As Hamid watched them go, something clicked in his head regarding this strange new relationship in which he found himself. Though no one could hear him, he responded to Wilde all the same.

“I know you will.”

*

The storm passed and things went back to usual. They were nearing more populated lands once again, and they finalized their plan of attack. Still in the air, though, flying high above a corrupted world, there was little they could do at present. 

So, when Hamid spotted Wilde behind his bar, he stepped over to him and took a seat. 

“I owe you an apology,” he said. Ashamed as he was, he sat up straight. Wilde deserved that respect. 

“Oh?” Wilde finished wiping down the bar.

“I do. Several apologies, actually. I-”

“Hang on, do you want a drink first?”

“Didn’t think the bar was open yet,” Hamid queried. Earhart had been very strict about when alcohol was allowed to be served, which turned out to be a fair compromise since banning the existence of the bar entirely was impossible. 

“It’s not.” Wilde smirked, and Hamid smiled back, then nodded. 

Wilde poured them their preferred cocktails, handed Hamid his, and took a seat next to him so they could have a proper conversation. 

“Alright, what’s going on?” Wilde questioned. 

“I wanted to apologize for… being so distant from you and awkward around you since Zolf and I…” He took a deep breath. “I think I was confused about how we all fit together and it seemed easier to just avoid you than to sort it out?”

Wilde took a sip of his drink and nodded. “I understand. I could tell you were avoiding me, but I wanted you to process it on your own time. I figured that if I came to try and talk to you about it, you would just get defensive.”

“I probably would have,” Hamid confessed. “I think, for some reason, I still believed that you and I should be at odds. We’re dating the same man and, as much as rationally I knew it wasn’t the case, it felt to me like we were competing, if that makes sense?”

“It does.”

“And so, why would I spend time with my competitor? And even if we _weren’t_ subtly fighting over the same person, it was still strange to - I don’t know - exist in a space that was also yours? But I’ve realized that was foolish.” Hamid sighed, then continued, “It’s not a competition and we don’t need to be rivals in any way. It’s about Zolf. You love him, I love him, and he loves both of us. It’s as simple as that. And I _knew_ that before, but now I’m sure of it.”

“What made you change your mind?”

“I mean, I think I was starting to come around gradually, but during the storm, when Zolf got hurt? I _knew_ that you would take care of him. I trusted you to look after him. I’d trust you to look after most anyone, truthfully, but not like this. I guess it made me realize that we both care for him, and that’s what matters. There’s no need for the two of us to be apart when we have the same wants in this.”

Wilde smiled and nodded as Hamid spoke. “I understand. It can be hard to wrap your head around at first. I’m just glad that we can go back to our daily gossip sessions again.”

“Oh, I missed them so much!”

They both laughed, then Hamid carried on, blabbering out all of his feelings regarding their relationships in one fell swoop. 

“You know, you make Zolf happy, and he makes you happy. And I hope that I make him happy too.”

“Does he make you happy?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Does he make you happy?” Wilde repeated. “You’re talking about how all that matters is Zolf, and then my relationship with him, but you’re not saying anything about yourself.”

Hamid blushed. “He makes me really happy.”

“That matters too, you know.”

“You’re right. It’s about _all_ our happiness and love and everything.”

“Exactly.” Wilde paused for a moment, then added, “You’re a good man, Hamid, and a good friend. I can certainly think of worse people for Zolf to fall for. And, besides, it’s not as if I can fault you for caring for him.”

“Well, thank you, Oscar. I’m sorry it took me this long to sort out my bizarre and unnecessary jealousy.”

“It’s alright, we got there. And it’s not like there won’t be any jealousy in the future - I’m sure it’ll pop up again. But we can work it out.”

“We can.” Hamid offered a sincere smile. Even if they still had their awkward moments, at least now he knew that they could sort them out together when the envy got too bad.

They drank in silence for a few minutes before Wilde set down his glass, hard. 

“You’ve spent some nights in Zolf’s cabin, right?”

Hamid blushed again. “Is that… is that a problem? He’s spent a few in my cabin too.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Wilde batted Hamid’s concern away with his hand. “I just mean… you’ve heard his snore, then, right? Is it not the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard?”

Hamid burst out laughing and Wilde chuckled too. 

“It’s so strange! When we traveled together before, we spent a lot of our time in separate hotel rooms-”

“Really roughing it, I see,” Wilde interjected jokingly, even though he had met them in Le Triomphe and knew of their posh living arrangements there.

“Oh, please, living on the same ship in confined quarters for months is _obviously_ the classiest and most comfortable of quarters,” Hamid teased. “But, before, we were in different rooms, so I didn’t really hear his snore? And when I did, I just assumed it was Bertie!”

They both laughed again. 

As their giggles subsided, Hamid matter-of-factly said, “So you’ve dated men before.” It was half a question, and half a statement. 

“I have indeed.”

“How do you get used to the beard?” Hamid asked, and Wilde let out a single, loud laugh. 

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never kissed anyone with a beard before. It’s scratchy and pokey.”

Wilde shrugged. “I never thought much of it. Kind of like it, to be honest.”

“Huh. I mean, I don’t mind it because it’s _Zolf_ , but…”

“Well, unless you find yourself another beardy fellow, isn’t that all you need?”

Hamid hesitated, then nodded. “You know what? You’re absolutely right.”

“Listen, Hamid, and I absolutely do not intend to overstep my bounds, but… if you have any questions, you can ask me. It’s a whole strange new world for you, and I know it can be tricky to sort it out on your own.”

“Thank you,” Hamid replied honestly. “That means a lot.”

As much as Hamid appreciated the sentiment, he silently swore that he would rather sort out his own ignorance and naivety with Zolf, that it would be handled between the two of them alone. He would rather get thrown off the ship than come to Wilde with some of those concerns.

Hamid was mid-drink when Wilde added, a knowing and teasing smirk on his lips, “And if you ever need any _hands-on demonstrations,_ I would be happy to oblige.”

Hamid spit out his drink in surprise, then knocked over his cup. 

“Oscar!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He cried, laughing so hard that he could barely help Hamid clean up the mess. “I’m kidding. I just couldn’t resist seeing your reaction, and it surpassed all expectations.”

“I can’t believe you would do this to me.” 

Despite his words, Hamid was laughing too. He had missed Wilde while he was too busy moping in unnecessary jealousy. 

“What are you two up to?” A familiar voice called, and both men turned to see Zolf approaching them. He had a smile on his lips as he watched them. 

“Talking about you, of course,” Wilde replied, still giggling to himself. 

“Albeit indirectly,” Hamid added. 

Zolf sighed. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

The pair of them managed to mop up Hamid’s spill, then Wilde mixed a new drink for Hamid and poured a beer for Zolf.

“Don’t be too concerned,” Hamid teased, “it was mostly all good things.”

“Oh, well, that’s fine then.”

Wilde plopped back in his chair and turned toward them. “I propose a toast! To us!”

Hamid held up his drink as well. Zolf rolled his eyes, but he smiled and did the same. They clinked their cups together and drank. 

Hamid sat between Wilde and Zolf, and he couldn’t stop smiling. Whatever came in the war or their relationships, he felt confident that they could face it together, all three of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter is more of an epilogue, but it'll be up tomorrow!


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the war is over and the blue-vein disease is cured, it turns out that Zolf has found a way to spend the rest of his life with both Hamid and Wilde, and none of them would trade it for the world.

Hamid awoke in the middle of the night and looked around blearily. Nothing was amiss; it was the simple movement of their bodies that roused Hamid ever so slightly from his sleep. 

He had an arm draped over Zolf’s middle while he pressed his body up against his back, and a hoard of blankets covered all of Hamid. He didn’t mean to steal all of the quilts, but it happened every single night. 

On Zolf’s other side, Wilde slept soundly. He and Zolf faced each other in their sleep, and their hands were clasped gently between them. Since the resurrection, Wilde ran at a hotter temperature than the others, so he had no problem handing his blankets to Hamid across the bed.

Once everything had settled down and the world returned to some sense of normalcy, Hamid, Zolf, and Wilde moved in together. It hadn’t even been a discussion, it just seemed like the most natural thing to do, especially because all three of them were heavily involved in sorting out the new governmental system. 

At first, they found a place where they each had their own bedroom, but that ran into some awkwardness relatively quickly. A few times Hamid or Wilde would wander to Zolf’s room after a nightmare, or simply when they wanted comfort and companionship in the night, and the other would already be asleep at Zolf’s side. And when Zolf didn’t want to face the loneliness of the dark, he found himself torn, unsure of whose bed he should crawl into. 

Eventually, they decided that the easiest option would just be to all sleep together, in one big bed. They kept the other bedrooms, because they all needed privacy at times and it wasn’t always conducive to pack together like they did. 

Which led to that night, where Hamid found himself clinging to Zolf, who in turn clung to Wilde. The moonlight shone across the three of them as Hamid readjusted his position, pressed his forehead against Zolf’s back, and smiled. 

With the two men he loved at his side, Hamid was content, safe and warm in their embrace. He had hope in his heart and love to spare, and there was nowhere else he would rather be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading all of this and I hope you enjoyed it! I've been yelling "Zolf has two hands" for ages but now I can't stop thinking about it lol

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to find more of my writing, head over to kellanswritingblog.tumblr.com, or feel free to check out my personal at celsidebottom.tumblr.com <3


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